Alright! I’m awake okay?

 I’m not a morning person anyway . I got to sleep last night around 1030 which is pretty early for me and then was back up again at 1:15 because my heart was pounding in my head . I just woke up at 5:15 and my blood pressure is 180/110 And my heart rate 115. Soooo all I can say is alright I’m up already! Pardon my description but it feels like somebody has shoved a Live Wire inside me.  I was gonna say up my … But that may have been too much so I’ll just leave that part off.  These “flares”, for lack of a better word, cause me to shake all over, instant anxiety and just be  immediately alert with a large headache. I jumped up like shot out of a cannon and grabbed my literal handful of blood pressure and heart medicines. Good grief. So I’ve turned to my blog because the rest of the house is still asleep. I can hear the birds outside chirping for glory. Most people enjoy morning sounds.. Me not so much. I’m an official morning sour puss. I’m dedicated to it, have been all my life. LOL. I can barely grunt to say anything in the early AM and I’m not one for small talk. I get to work about 8:00 but my people light doesn’t come on till 9:00. I’ve tried over the years to get up earlier and force that nice Sheri to come out early but she told me to ______myself and shut up! LOL  I would blame it on too many years of night shifts but it’s been that way much longer than that. It’s all starting to calm down now, so we’ll see what the day brings. Everything was elevated all day yesterday and I spent all day treating myself with the as needed medicines. By the end of the day I was exhausted. I called my doc because my next appt isn’t for five weeks and it seems to be getting worse daily. Hopefully, they’ll call me today. 

I hope everyone has good day. Peace, love and blessings..

Notes of a successful, normal day.

I have had another mostly successful day at work got about an hour to go . I didn’t get here on time this morning because I was having difficulty waking up after being up all night long or at least most of the night. The thing about this hyper infusion of catecholamines, epinephrine, and norepinephrine being shot into your system is that at night is when all that production goes on. And, as is normal the highest time of release of all these wonderful substances is early-morning which we’re all thankful for because it helps us wake up and not take a permanent nap! LOL I got in a five minute walk today. It was so nice outside that I thought I would walk around our compound for lack of a better word. I walk and then I went back inside because I could tell it had accelerated everything and my blood pressure was 150/110. before January 20, 2017 I could take 30 to 40 minutes on the treadmill fast with no problem at all. So I have really declined in my ability to do what I like best which is exercise and move around at will . I got home and made both tuna fish salad and chicken salad those are a staple around this house. Tried to do some laundry and got it out of the dryer. But that was as far as I got this evening. After I ate dinner I sat down in the recliner for a few minutes and leaned it back and the last thing I remember is leaning the recliner back!  I woke up with a bolt at 11:30 on the dot . It’s amazing how they injection in your body of the epinephrine just shoot uWink and you’re totally clear . Everything is crystal clear, your hearing is acute, your vision is sharp and your thoughts are just flying! Knowing I’ll be up for a while I decided to let the dogs outside . They were all sleepy but we usually let them out right before we go to bed, and I could tell they hadn’t been let out when Brett went upstairs to go to sleep. That was around 1230 and a few minutes ago around 0130 I heard a bark outside.  We have seven dogs and normally do we need a headcount no matter when we’re letting them in and out. For dog lovers you’ll understand that and for non-dog lover you’ll think that’s just crazy. This is one time I forgot to do a headcount. After hearing the bark I could tell I’d left someone outside …Of course it was Wooby the quietest one among the group.He never makes much noise at all. We call him Wooby because when he was a baby he always had to have a toy or blanket beside him and he dragged them all around the house those were his “woobies”. His name is Scotty and he’s a Jack rat terrier. We also gave him the name Wooby because when he moves he wiggles from the tip of his nose to the tip of his tail back-and-forth back-and-forth back-and-forth…LOL. He constantly keeps on toying his mouth and we make jokes about the fact that he does. We say that he keeps the toy in his mouth to keep himself from screaming with excitement! I guess he was right beside the back door even though the lights were out and something must’ve scared him because I just heard one yip after being out there for an hour. Being a dog mom I immediately recognized the Tannibark and knew in my pit of my stomach I had left someone outside alone in the dark and scared. Yes I said I left “someone” just like it’s a person because he’s one of my babies. When I let him in he was wiggling frantically and had a toy stuffed in his mouth that he found outside. I guess he been holding on to it ever since he got shut out the back door. Boy, don’t I feel terrible right now! It took me about 10 minutes of petting and 10 minutes of him running around which woke everybody else up downstairs before he could calm himself down and get up in Brett’s chair …with a blanket. Okay, okay, yes I went and got his favorite blanket. I know it’s kind of pathetic . LOL The next thing I did was the headcount . Now everybody settled back down but I’m still awake and my heartbeat is thumping in my head but I’m watching my current favorite movie which is – 13 Hours the Secret Soldiers of Benghazi. I read the book too that was written before the movie was made back in 2013 . It’s an amazing story of the Americans that tried to save the ambassador Chris Stevens when Benghazi was overrun . Stories especially true ones like that help me to get myself mentally right. It lets me know as a reminder that you can do anything that you need to get through . From what I’m told and what I remember of my childhood, youth and adulthood I came here ferocious and I’ve stayed that way over the years when faced with adversity. I’ve had my share like everybody else. Some would say I’ve had more than my share but I don’t see it that way. I don’t tend to be the kind that looks backward with any regrets. I truly believe that every day stacked on top of the day before has brought me to where I am right now and taught me things that I didn’t know. I’ve got softer edges after 56 years.  The water over the rocks had smoothed me into a little bit cozier maybe a little fuzzier person, which is a good thing. I kind of laugh when I think back into my teens, 20s and 30s at the ever loving Spitfire that I was, with the short fuse and most of the time my hair was on fire. LOL! Somewhere along the way from about 37 through my 40s I just fizzled out as far as the daily Intensity. Some of that was because of working in the emergency room during all those years but most of it was organic, hard wired. I’d have to say the last decade has been pretty mellow on a day-to-day basis for me and my friends will laugh. Because I know that mellow for me is not what most people would describe. I worked hard and played hard ! And that’s still the way I prefer it today. I’ve always loved people and dogs . I still have the occasional quick fire temper but I’m a short burn because eases up so much energy all at one time. I never learned to hold a grudge. Sometimes I’ve even been envious of people who can hold a grudge because I just can’t do it . Having a short memory and being long on forgiveness has sometimes served me very well and at other times it’s made me put my hand on the stove multiple times in a row when it comes to people who might or might not have your best interest at heart. I try my best to meet people where they are. I think I learned that from my parents and I know I learned a lot of it in the emergency room being a nurse for the last 36 years. A lot of people can’t help where they are, even if they are extremely difficult most have a reason for being that way. And no I’m not bleeding heart there are responsibilities that go with bad choices. I just always thought that me acting out toward a difficult person doesn’t help the situation and adds to their burden and makes me carry away bad thoughts and feelings. LOL, I’m definitely no saint and my friends and family can attest to the fact that when I get on a tirade about something my mouth has a tendency to lay it all straight out on the line as clear as glass for everybody else to see. I’m coming to grips now with the fact that this health problem that’s going on isn’t going away anytime soon and there are things I’m gonna have to do in the future test and test and probably more tests to have done. But I can’t control that and I’m just gonna take it a step at a time. Thank God I tend not to borrow trouble. He has blessed me in such a large measure and as they say to whom much has been given much will be expected. I’m just thankful to be surrounded by love on all sides!I’m gonna turn my movie back on but I just thought I would spout off a few words about my day. I hope everybody has a good day tomorrow, strike that, I hope everybody has a great day tomorrow! Peace, love and blessings from Sheri…

Mr.Rogers throw back!

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood! If you’re old enough to remember Mr. Rogers on PBS singing that song it’ll be funny to you Boeser younger probably won’t remember it so it means absolutely nothing ! I’m at work today which is a joyous day after being sick all week last week. I left this morning at my regular time with all my babies watching as I went out the door . They are confused because right now I’m home sick and about as much as I am at work and they all love their routine . However I think they love it better when Momma is home with them to let them in and out of the back door about 100 times during the day , LOL. It is gorgeous here today in West Tennessee. It’s about 65° outside closer to 70 I’m sure by this afternoon. The sun is shining brightly and the trees are all green, flowers are all blooming and if you’re an allergy sufferer the Cottonwood is blowing in the wind. So get out your Benadryl! I don’t feel as bad today my blood pressure is marginally high but my heart rate is in the normal range which makes me feel like doing things. I am thankful for that. I have a workmate that left me a small baggie this morning with a mustard seed inside and on the outside it said “if you have faith this size”. It was the boat that I needed to remember to pray more and believe even more. I know that God is covering me because whatever this is could’ve already caused me a heart attack or a stroke. So far so good! A good lesson in one step and sometimes one minute at a time. Peace and Love…blessings.

The kids..or some of them, lol!

It’s a messy Sunday here..Annabelle is in clown mode with her ball, which is typical. We haven’t had the Opportunity to do the full out game of flying catch today. The backyard is just too soft and wet. She hates water, lol! Except when she’s chasing Wooby, then no amount of flying mud and debris is too much! He’s much smaller but being a Jack-Rat terrier he’s got lightening speed and uses small escape and evade tactics on her all the time. He’s her favorite playmate in the house. We call JoJo”cat-dog” because he’s like a feline at times. Walking on top of chairs, tippy toeing through the yard and there’s nothing he liked better than a good ole dusty patch in the yard to spin around in and send up dust plumes to bite at. He and Wooby are brothers. All these kids are rescues. My hubby and I ran a dog rescue for five years with the help of a few others and we successfully saved over 500 dogs today we adopted into forever homes. Amazing! And amazingly hard work! If you ever get the chance to be a foster family take advantage of it, even if only once. There is no greater heartwarming gratification than seeing a dog go from needing rescue into the loving arms of their new parents! 

We have seven dogs now and each one has their own story.Our first tworescues came from a high kill shelter nearby.Their names are Buddy and Chase.But he was three months old he seems to be a mix of border colliewith a dab of Labrador retriever and some type of houndhe was severely abused and as we saw had been hungon the catchpole by the people at the shelter at least twice when I witnessed it.He didn’t get the socialization that’s needed between their eight and 13th weeks with people every experience he had must’ve been bad.He’s almost 6 years old and has come so far we brought him homethe same day we brought home Chase. Chase was four months old maybe five and he’s a yellow lab golden retriever mix.They both were so frightened at the shelter they were going to be put down because they wouldn’t eat food and chase just sat in the back of the corner of the shelter and buddy sat in the back of the corner of the shelter but he did have some teeth with him!Fear was All they knew at that time and people were not their friends. We have to start them off and channels in our garage and it took me several days of sittingabout 10 feet away from themto get them to even make eye contact with me Chase came around a lot quicker than buddy Theon.I took a little bit of meat lunch meat and would throw it to them and eventually they let me pet them and eventually came out of their cages but it took a period of weeks before I could get them in the house without them having to be picked up and brought in. They weren’t ready for mixing with the other dogs it was too scary for themuntil they had been here a few weeks.Now that I’ve grown into a fine man and are wonderful companions.Chase is as laid-back as any lab on the face of the earth and Buddy still needs his room from time to time, but we’ve seen him blossom over the last six years. It’s amazing that they can still learn every day and make great examples for people if we would just take time to notice and follow the example. There was a time when you couldn’t walk behind Buddy or have anything in your hands, especially a mop or broom. He used to spend most of his time in their bedroom. Now in the last year he’s decided he wants to be inside the family pack and spends most of his days and evenings in the family room. It’s a big deal for him and us. He’s even come to the point where he likes to have his head nuzzled with mine but only for a few seconds. He’ll allow me to give him kisses on top of the head when I come home in the afternoon from work. He loves to be brushed now and we often find him running to the front gate when someone comes in just for a few seconds to see who it is and then he scoots back to the family room. Lately he’s learned to relax on the dog bed on the floor underneath the TV which is a giant accomplishment for him! That place doesn’t allow him a fast escape route which is normally top on his list. He’s at his most free when he’s running in the yard chasing squirrels or Annabelle. That’s when he looks the most normal of all. hands rehab has been a work of love for him and it’s taught us a lot about patience and slow moving trains. the spirit of the dog is indomitable just like people and given enough time and love and understanding they can accomplish almost anything. His progress and is a constant reminder to me of just how slowly life moments us overtime and it reminds me that you have to wait for things. Waiting is not the human condition unfortunately and certainly not my normal condition.  But when I reflect on him it helps me to understand that nothing happens instantaneously. Peace and Love.

Well…a place for deep thoughts

It’s a yucky kind of gray rainy day in West Tennessee and so it’s been slow moving for everybody I’ve talked to today. Sorry I was MIA for a couple days. My appointment with the doctor yesterday went good but questionable … We saw Dr. Latif who I really liked. He’s nice and seems very compassionate. However, the MIBG scan was negative which is kind of what I expected . He said sometimes this could take 8 to 10 years to sort out … Yes I said years. It was a relief to hear that I didn’t show a pheochromocytoma ! But it sent us back to the drawing board as far as he was concerned and as far as our searching goes..sigh. It’s not an easy thing to track down and I knew that from all of my research . I couldn’t help but cry just a little because I was really hoping for something like a benign Pheo that could be removed and I could get my life back quick.  No such luck. We started a new medicine called Cardura which is an alpha blocker, on top of the other five blood pressure medicines that I’m on right now! So I’m spending yesterday and today trying to get used to the new medicine and I think I feel a little bit better today . Of course I haven’t really done much I’m trying to follow the directions on how to get used to an alpha blocker . It blocks the infusion of epinephrine and norepinephrine into your system and helps to keep you from getting the “fight or flight” response in your body. The dogs smell it of course rescue one has taken turn passing by me sniffing the new chemical smell on mom . They’re adjusting to it, amazing how they know! I’m not sure how but their noses are so developed it’s incredible they sniff me from high to low as soon as I come back in from the doctors office every time . The med causes a little dizziness. Yesterday was worse than today and Layla has been close by just to be sure I don’t fall flat on my face . So far it’s not keeping my heart rate below 100 consistently but it hasn’t blasted up to above 120 bpm all day long which is a new development. The biggest problem with all these blocking drugs is that they also block your desire to participate in life, lol. Being the terrible patient that I usually a.m. I have made the executive decision to start and withdraw one medication at a time based on my vital signs. Since I have the ability to monitor both my heart rate and blood pressure and the way I feel internally and how are Espanto things that I’m doing I’m going to try over the next few weeks to knock off one at a time and see if I can get some life juices flowing again . I’ll let you know how it goes it should prove to be interesting! Of course he told me that sometimes these things have triggers… so I should avoid as many carbohydrates as possible. That means try to go on a high-protein diet. This leaves out pretty much most of the things that I like to eat. Luckily I had already started lowering carbohydrates back at the beginning of the year before I got sick and pumping up the protein and fruits and vegetables then so it won’t be a horrible conversion but Rome wasn’t built in a day . Some people really feel it when I eat certain foods..that trigger point I don’t get that.  I get a trigger whenever I try to do something physical like swing a golf club or slide the mop around the floor or get on the treadmill or take the dogs out or take a bath…. just pretty much anything that most of us do in regular life. I will say I’m hopeful for controlling the symptoms . He said that he would see me again in six weeks and I have to have the 24 hour urine lab done in four weeks to see if it’s still as elevated as it has been the last three times. He mentioned that we will probably do what’s called an octreotide scan if I’m still having symptoms. It’s a scan that is has radioactive dye tagged with a hormone that’s specific to some of these types of tumors and can find them in lieu of the other scans. They use it when the go to scan is negative, since with all tests there are about 10% or more false negatives.

 I have the best husband in the world! Brett is so patient and loving. He went yesterday and bought groceries so that we would have all the correct foods. He’s taking care of everything around the house like he has been since January as best as can.  I just thank God for him. He’s such a wonderful man and such a beautiful and loving mate. Without him and the dogs life around here would be pretty solemn. I’m also extremely thankful for my beautiful family, especially my sister. And friends like Kathleen, who keeps up with me no matter that I go silent from time to time. 

 I don’t know if anybody else’s this way but when I’m processing things I’m not the most communicative person in the world. It’s difficult for me to text back and it’s agonizing for me to try to pick up the telephone and call somebody back. I can’t make myself! I find myself just crawling in my shell and have to think for a while! Course the dog babies sense this and try to entertain and cajole the whole day. Annabelle has been bringing me her ball to throw up and down, up and down… all day long. Wooby and JojoHave had several Jack rat terrier wrestling matches in the middle of the floor just for entertainment value if nothing else. Layla has been hippity-hop, big old girl that she is, jumping up and down, following me everywhere smiling that big black playful Lab face. She even started a play towel fight with me earlier when I tried to dry her off after coming in out of the rain . Lyza Jane has done the Chihuahua yip of and on all day just to keep out snappy (pun intended). sweet yellow lab Chase has come over for petting and loving. He has to lick you under your chin just to let you know he loves you and Buddy the most frightened of all, but also the most loyal at times, has given up his spot on the couch just so that mom can lay down . So I’m surrounded by love and I can’t think of a better place to be and the day has been better than the days before so I’m thankful . Now we’re settling into the evening time watching a little bit of tube. They’re all finding their spots around the house where they know it’s time to slow the clock down and get some rest . I’ll keep you posted on this journey. God has provided as I knew he would and I feel encouraged . I hope this account of the journey helps somebody else, because there are a lot of people out there dealing with things … disease in their body or in their lives. It’s good to know that you always come out on the other side. You might not have all the answers but you do come out on the other side as long as you have faith . Peace and love to all!

Ok…a DA move, LOL! 

Solid facts: 1) South is about 10-15 years behind medicine for the most part (being kind) and 2) if you’re going to have a test for something exotic you should do your homework. 

The endocrine doctor ordered an MIBG scan because he really felt it was the best procedure and diagnostic test for what’s going on. I’ve had to fight the schedulers to get it. I’ve talked to the radiologist to get it approved because of my Iodine allergy, researched the test and which of my medicines to stop. Radiology stopped it and rescheduled it once. Radiology didn’t advise the doctor what thyroid blocking agent to use so I did that. I researched hard to see how/what Cleveland Clinic, UCLA and MD Anderson use and came up with Lugol’s solution.

  Arose this morning at 6 and took 50mg of Prednisone and 50mg of Benadryl. Ever the dutiful nurse, I’d looked up all the above…..but being the PATIENT I trusted someone else’s calculations of how much Lugol’s solution to take. DA move on my part! LOL. It’s funny now but it wasn’t funny this morning. They prescribed 8 mL which is about 1 and 2/3 teaspoons full of the solution for me to take three days in a row, starting today. I swallowed that potassium iodine solution down and immediately followed with a ton of water it was horrible! Salivary glands went wild my stomach contracted and I spent several minutes fighting my body trying desperately not to reject the solution. It  seemed like an hour but I lost the battle and hurled up some of it. My mouth is burned, my tongue is burning, my throat is burning and can’t taste anything!  My lips are still burning and my salivary glands are still working overtime. This would be terrible if it wasn’t so typical for me. I detailed and dialed everything out except for this! The good old 50 mg of Benadryl has had me pretty much comatose all day on the couch.  I woke up from time to time in the fugue state and tried to drink something cold to abate the fire in my mouth then fell out again, LOL. I’ve restarted the same movie 3 times! After I became conscious again about 45 minutes ago I started thinking ……I think it probably should’ve been drops and not milliliters. So I got back on the old handy Internet and went back to the drawing board to see what the heck I could do tomorrow because I’m supposed to take it again. I know there’s no way I can do that again tomorrow .  Guess what I found??  It was supposed to have been three drops or six drops depending on who’s protocol you read not teaspoonfuls . Like I said, DA move on my part! 

You should’ve seen Layla and the other dogs. She sat bedside me while I was lurching and wretching, ever watching me unphased by the sight. She’s got a lot of experience with my physical warfare over the last eleven years, haha. The fact that almost nothing grosses out a Lab helps. The rest of the pack were deserters! Well except Annabelle she just walked around with her balls in her mouth on the periphery as usual. Anytime one of us sneezes loud the others clear the decks! LOL…..I’m pretty much in good shape, except for my poor mouth and sad little tastebuds. Hey, maybe I’ll lose some weight! 

Don’t lose your peace and have a great day! Staying strong and finishing strong on this end!

Before thoughts

It’s shortly after midnight in West Tennessee and I’m awake. I’ve been watching TV, actually a movie I watch from time to time Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot. Right now that is kind of my question to the universe…if you don’t get the title just take the first letters…WTF? 

Today I start the pre-medication, taking Iodine solution before my MIBG scan tomorrow and Wednesday. The catch is that I’m allergic to Iodine! So I’ve electively chosen to take something I’m highly allergic to in preparation for a nuclear medicine scan which also has iodine in it. In search of an elusive health threat. Searching for a Neuro endocrine tumor of some sort. Something somewhere inside me that causes a simple bath to explode my blood pressure in spite of four anti hypertensive meds and spike my heart rate in spite of a load of beta blockade. Oh yeah, and take a blood thinner so I don’t throw a clot. 

A little over 3 months ago I was working everyday, going to the local Y 3-4x week to work out, playing golf, hanging with my grandkids, husband, dogs and pretty much living a very normal active life. BAMMM! Someone pulled the bathtub plug and all the water has tried to run out. So has my life.

I get short of breath walking into work about 150 feet, feel anxious inside constantly, my heart hammers for no reason, fatigue, fatigue…did I say fatigue? Sweating just for moving. I’ve gained about 12lbs for no real reason, headaches that split my brain, just to name a few…… I’m really tough. Child birth with nothing, bone marrow biopsy was nothing, multiple surgeries and several under local anesthesia only. I’m a 25 year battle tested ER nurse. So when I say tough I mean tough. But hunting this bastard has been like a chess game. I suspect these 3 days will be rough but with my sweet Brett, my husband and angel we’ll get through….Our dogs by our side the whole way, family and friends prayers. I’m praying we find it, cut the MF out and get back to Sheri’s  life! 

Mom’s turn to talk..

Hi all, 

You’ve heard from my favorite girl Layla. Such a wonderful devoted spirit! This coming week I’m having am MIBG scan. Specific for Neuro endocrine tumors, especially specific for Pheochromocytoma. Pheos as they are called can cause all the symptoms I’m having. Extremely high blood pressure, extremely high heart rate, new onset atrial fibrillation, exhaustion, my blood pressure spikes just taking a bath! Not to mention weight gain, constant headache, swelling all over….diarrhea, anxiety, memory confusion….did I say anxiety?? Moving makes my heart hammer, sleeping is almost impossible. When I do I wake up to my heart running like a Jack hammer. For blood pressure medicines, one heart medicine and a blood thinner all since January! I’m keeping a positive outlook but I’m really tired. To make it worse no energy for my grandbabies or four legged babies. No energy for golf!!! I’m praying daily they’ll find something they can fix. If it’s a Pheo they can usually remove it and all can return to normal. Now you’re up to date! Ruff ruff!

Whole lot of thinking going on!

I was sleeping but my mom is awake now. I always hear her when she rises. Many times it’s at night right now. We used to sleep during the night, the last ten years at least but she’s been sick for about four months. She’s told me all about it. As a dog I don’t exactly have a medical degree and I don’t know what the things she tells me mean but I knew it was coming. This year in January her body started swelling really bad all over, getting bigger. The thing about dogs is we smell it on our person. It’s usually in their breath first. After a couple weeks she got so sick she had to go to “the hospital”, it’s a place kind of like a vet’s office. At least that’s what she smells like when she comes home. It’s a crazy unnatural odor full of chemicals. That time she was gone for six days! I knew she’d be back but it seemed like forever. Besides it wasn’t time. Mom only leaves once a year when it’s hot outside for several days. She calls it “going to the beach with the family”. I went there with her once and the water was huge and amazing! Jumping in the waves was as natural as breathing for me, I am a Labrador retriever! The sun and sand were so fun I didn’t want to leave. If she gets to go this year I’m hoping she’ll take me with her because it’s been several years since the waves. But I digress…when mom was at hospital in January she had human kidney failure. It must’ve been bad because even her skin smelled sick when she came home! I heard things like uncontrolled hypertension, edema, irregular heart rate and abnormal lab work. That word abnormal means something bad. She and Dad talked a lot and while she was there he came and went a lot to be with her. We all had to wait. I know she was okay because when he came home I could smell her on his clothes. Those pesky lab tests made her read and read. Mom learns things on her own. Being a nurse makes you pretty smart about healing other beings and yourself. None of my brothers or sisters were as happy as me when she came home! They love her but they aren’t connected with her like me. I was so relieved to see her, smell her, feel her hands and her happiness! It was short lived. Within a few days the bad was back and this time the word “cancer” was going around between Dad and her. Those lab tests thought she had it. Mom found the very best hemo-oncologist in Memphis, Dr. Yasser. That time she had to have a “bone marrow biopsy” to rule out multiple myeloma. This test came back negative after several days of concern and lots of prayers. It must’ve been something that was painful because it took her a couple days to pick up a golf club again, lol. Speaking of golf, it’s a stick and a ball..a really small ball, not the kind you want to chase. When she feels good we go out back and Mom uses the,”golf club” to work on her “swing”. I usually lie down about twenty feet from her while she’s practicing, just for safety. Golf must be something you need to practice often! She still smelled sick but had some good days. I live for the good days with her. She looks in my eyes a lot in a fun way and she’s always moving and talking… chatter, chatter, chatter. It makes me wish I knew more big words. The next thing that came was a “Cardiac Cath” because she couldn’t breath when she got up and started having chest pain spells. This one really worried me. Humans and dogs can’t stay here if their heart stops! It’s vitally important! That test came back negative too, Whewww. Then one night came a spell of chest pain and her heart was beating so fast she couldn’t stand up. That night she went back to the hospital by “ambulance”. It’s a special ride because lots of men came to get her really fast! She was gone another five long days…I tried to pass the time sleeping because I’m getting old AND I was worried! I passed my days but was grouchy with the others and growled a lot (Not my normal). Annabelle my younger sister kept pushing her ball in front of my face! Jeeez, I love her but she can be so worrisome with that damned ball! That time she came home with “new onset atrial fib”. By now Mom has seen two heart doctors, a kidney doctor, cancer doctor and someone called an “endocrinologist”. That last one is pretty hard to understand, I’ll admit. They’ve made her take five new medicines and each one hits my nose differently. She’s told me this coming week will be harder still…. She’s having some “scans”. I was told she has to take a lot of medicines to prepare and stop some of the blood pressure things. I’ll be sticking very close by her. I’m never more than ten feet from her when she’s home anyway. I can tell she’s getting sicker right now. Walking takes her breath and makes her blood pressure go up and there’s been no golf for the last two weeks. I’m concerned but don’t really worry unless she does and she’s pretty good at not worrying. The main things she worries about are her mom and dad, “the kids”, Dad and of course me and the others, Chase, Buddy, Wooby, JoJo, Lyza Jane and Annabelle. I’ll tell you about all of them another time. Of course, I’m the oldest and her special “big girl”. Tonight I heard she’s having an MIBG scan that lasts two days. Something about a Neuro endocrine tumor. Well, she’s finally ready to lay down again so that’s all for now. I’ll do what people say and “keep you in the loop”!